First – pray for his heart and entrust him to God. If you struggle with trust issues, don’t smother your husband with prying questions to make him feel as if he’s done something wrong, only because you assume he has. I have always said that if either party in the marriage truly wants to go out and have an affair, there’s no amount of snooping that anyone can do to stop it.īut even more importantly, you should fight for your marriage. However, there comes a point when ‘openness’ becomes ‘obsession’ and ‘asking’ becomes ‘smothering’. Jesse and I have an ‘open phone’ policy and over-compensate when it comes to asking hard questions and telling hard truths. And I believe in many marriages, the wife acts like her husband’s mother, but because she thinks that it’s what’s ‘best’, she avoids the issue and drains her husband of all independence and joy. We have gotten to a place where I have recognized that this is a struggle for me and am actively choosing my words & actions more wisely, but that hasn’t always been the case. But gosh, it’s damaging, and especially to my marriage. Okay guys, I can be such a mom – in every sense of the word. Be honest in the disappointment or sadness that you feel – nobody is telling you to suppress your emotions – but there is a boundary in knowing what you are saying to help your marriage versus what you are saying to control your marriage. I don’t care” – when it actually isn’t fine and you do care? Guilt trips, using the words “always” and “never”, aggression or passive aggression, the silent treatment, doling out ultimatums, crying for pity or exaggerating disappointment are many of the ways that women emotionally manipulate their spouses.įriends, I want to encourage you to use your words. Emotional Manipulationĭo you ever use your moods to control your husband’s response? For example: Have you ever responded curtly with, “Nope. Respect, in all forms, speaks volumes to men and often results in them feeling worthy of their wife’s affections.Īs you can imagine, talking about this with my husband stirred up some really important conversations between the two of us and I’m really glad that it did! Sometimes we can be so blinded to our own shortcomings that we have to take the time to ask our spouses to boldly and lovingly share them with us. I have mentioned before that just as a woman desires to feel loved, men equally desire to feel respected.